


Burnished

by llaras



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-13
Updated: 2010-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llaras/pseuds/llaras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's some hitting and maybe a revelation...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burnished

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://emungere.livejournal.com/profile)[**emungere**](http://emungere.livejournal.com/) in the [](http://community.livejournal.com/nsp_ficathon/profile)[**nsp_ficathon**](http://community.livejournal.com/nsp_ficathon/). My everlasting gratitude to [](http://inalasahl.livejournal.com/profile)[**inalasahl**](http://inalasahl.livejournal.com/) and [](http://finitejester37.livejournal.com/profile)[**finitejester37**](http://finitejester37.livejournal.com/) for the beta work. Anything that is wrong or confusing is my fault. :-)

This is not a loving act. There are no tender caresses or soft words.

This is pain and bile. This is what being weak feels like.

It begins with fists and curses. Split lips and bruised jaws, cracked ribs and raw knuckles.

"She doesn't want you." Jayne knows he should regret this as soon as he says it. But he's done waiting.

Sometimes you have to create opportunities. Sometimes you have to burn it all for something new to grow.

To his surprise, Jayne finds himself knocked onto the cool floor of the bay. He underestimated Mal. He needs to stop doing that.

Mal is standing over him, spitting with rage. His breath comes out in fast, short bursts and he's saying something. But Jayne doesn't understand, he's captivated by the flying drops of blood and the way Mal's hands are shaking.

The argument is a new one, but the underlying anger and frustration have always been there. Every fight they've had over the years, every exchange of harsh words. There's something in Jayne that Mal won't trust and there's something in Mal that Jayne needs.

Jayne's incredibly turned on. He doesn't know what to do. Part of him still wants to fight, to get this done and over with. And part of him knows this will never be over as long as they keep repeating what has come before.

He tries to clear his head, shakes it back and forth, wipes the blood from his mouth and leans up, eying Mal with caution.

"You bastard," one of them says. Jayne can't be sure it wasn't him. But he swears he hears thunder before the world goes black.

  
*****

  
In his dreams he wanders empty roads through ghost towns full of ash and corpses. It is neither day nor night, and the only sound he hears are his gritty footsteps. He cannot stray off the path before him, nor turn back. He is alone. It is suffocating.

Mal knows it isn't reality, only he doesn't know how to escape it. So he just keeps walking, waits for something to wake him up. Sometimes it's his alarm, sometimes one of the crew. Once upon a time he could wake on his own, easily. That talent seems to have gone away.

At first he fights it, puts off sleep until he can't help but succumb. But after weeks of this he realizes it is futile. It doesn't stop the dreams from coming. It doesn't change anything but his ability to function when he is awake.

Soon it becomes too easy to surrender to the timelessness and the stretch of road before him. He learns to separate his waking hours and sleeping hours completely. The only thing keeping him from going crazy is that he still has some control over part of his day.

Jayne tests that control. He pushes at Mal, subtly challenges him. Mal knows that this is how Jayne is, never expected him to change. The only difference is that for once he can't figure out what is driving the other man. Jayne is no longer as transparent as he once was. He knows it isn't greed, he can tell that much. But what is motivating Jayne to press him with these hard stares? Why does it seem like Jayne is always there, an extra shadow that makes him itch with restlessness? It's a mystery.

So Mal ignores it, figures Jayne will get tired or make his move. And he waits for night.

  
*****

  
Jayne wakes in Mal's bunk. He figures the only reason he is there is so Mal can finish him off in private before the others return.

He soon realizes he is wrong. He takes note of his bandaged fingers and taped ribs and the fact that his bloody clothes have been removed. It doesn't make sense.

He starts to get up, but everything starts spinning way too fast and he ends up half-sitting, half propped up against the wall. He closes his eyes and tries not to groan too loud. No telling where Mal's got to and he'd like to get out of here before the other man gets back.

"I'm done fighting you, Jayne." The voice comes from the steps and Jayne looks up at Mal with a surprised grunt.

Mal's cleaned himself up as well, tended to his hurts, but at least he is dressed and this puts Jayne at a disadvantage.

"I got no time or patience left for this anymore." Mal's eyes are glittering, his jaw determined as he makes his way over to where Jayne is. He throws a clean t-shirt and pants down on the bed.

Jayne takes a moment to get himself situated before answering. He has to ready himself to get out of there in a hurry if need be.

He takes a deep breath and steels himself. "Pi hua," is all he says. It comes out a bit less forceful than he intended, but it certainly achieves what he had hoped for. Mal is speechless. Though his clenched fists are a mite worrisome.

Jayne meets Mal's eyes, holds them with a stubborn glare of his own as he gets unsteadily to his feet. No boots, but at least he still has his shorts on. "You say you're done fighting me? Pi hua. We ain't done by a long shot and you know it. We ain't gonna be done until something changes around here."

Mal hasn't moved, but he's watching Jayne very closely. They must be more than five feet apart, but Jayne can feel the angry heat coming off of Mal. It makes his skin prickle in interesting ways.

"And just what kind of changes do you have in mind?" Mal challenges. "Cause I only see two options here, either you and I hash this out here and now or you get off this boat."

Jayne laughs.

"You want to hit me again, real bad, don't you?"

Mal moves closer. "You have no idea."

"Oh, I reckon I do." Jayne smiles.

Mal snorts, despite himself.

"Here's the way I see it." Jayne pulls on his pants carefully, never breaking eye contact. "You're a right mess. You can't barely keep yourself together, much less the rest of the crew."

Mal tries to interrupt, but Jayne isn't done. He holds up a finger. "Wait." He pulls on the t-shirt next, wincing as his ribs protest the movement needed to get it on. He continues. "And now Inara is leaving. Again. Am I right?"

Mal gives him a tight nod.

"Now it ain't my business what goes on between you and her, and maybe I shouldn't have said what I did."

"You got that right." Mal is relaxing a bit.

"But Mal, we both know that Zoe ain't gonna be able to help, she's still grieving. And Kaylee and Simon are so wrapped up in each other. And River's too young." He thinks for a moment. "And scary."

"What the hell are you talking about, Jayne? I ain't making you second in command, that's Zoe's job and you know it. She'll come around."

"I'm talking about this." Jayne grabs Mal by the shoulders and plants a kiss on him.

This, of course, earns him a punch. But Jayne doesn't go down, he just ruefully rubs his jaw and looks toward the exit.

"Well, I guess that answers that." He starts making his way over to the ladder. "I'll start packing. I'd appreciate you dropping me off in a port somewheres. Better chance of finding work that way."

"Wait. Jayne. You can't be serious." Mal is incredulous. "All of this," he waves his arms about, "has been about _that_?"

Jayne frowns. "I'm not really the courting type, Mal."

"But I thought..." Mal shakes his head. "Hold on."

Jayne lets go of the ladder and makes his way back over. He watches as Mal goes through about five different expressions in the space of a heartbeat, finally settling on...curiosity?

Jayne smiles.

  
*****

This is not a loving act. There are no tender caresses or soft words.

But it is a beginning and Mal finds that he doesn't need to walk alone anymore.

  
*Pi hua = bullshit


End file.
